Where is my mind?

I was walking through a wheat field making sense out of nothing. I asked myself where I had gone off to for so long. As though I was part of multiple things, all which made no sense. As I walk through the path I extend my hands at the kernels that are steadily placed on their stems, which in turn are firmly planted on the ground. The awn slowly caresses the palm of my hands as I make my way through the field. There is a sense of nostalgia as small essence of the kid I once was had been came to this very same field, I then felt the presence of regret, toward all those things I had not accomplished at some point in my life. My reasoning was faded by something more than my own judgement. Clouded by that which has always kept me back from achieving those goals set on any given day on my long list of days on planet earth. I can now tell I'm no longer in the wheat field. And the place I'm in is unfamiliar to me.

The breeze calms my breathing, as I start to realize I stand a top a high rising mount. I can look down at a village I do not recognize. But a vague feeling of knowing it is a place special to someone I may know creeps in. I feel lucid, a velvet comfort, I realize the place I have visited is not real. In the back I can hear Tibetan chants slowly spreading a wide sense togetherness. I suddenly become ill on my one true weakness. It sounds so obvious here in this place where I metaphysically stand. It is so easy to pinpoint that which holds me down. But up there in the surface, It is so hard to maintain concentration. That small doubt of a problem which always takes me further into an abyss of sorrow. A self-driven no-sense place of masochist desire for an untamed mind.

I am no longer standing. I hear drumbeat. I lay down, face up, in the middle of a forest. I have my eyes closed, but I can feel it is rich in green. The feeling of the comfortable soil beneath me and the plants growing at my sides. It is as if time has stopped for me. Yet, everything around me moves much faster. As though I have become a constant in this vast unwithering realm.  But it is now time to let go. Time to surface. So here I go. Going back up,. Then off to sleep,.

As I have become an early bird of prey,.

A mile in my shoes,.

I could have sworn by now this part of me would have faded away; But it has not. I find myself longing for more of what I felt when I walked a path that was once clear. In time what I felt was gone. It's no longer in me. The fight in me is no longer loud beneath my skin. As though the will of being free is not in touch with myself.

Walk a mile in my shoes, take a look through my eyes and you will see. I approach my demons unwillingly,.,.

I am all who are lone inside disconnected from the answer that would set them free. I am all who are lost, looking for an answer to a problem they need to rid. I am all who behind it all just want to love there own skin. I am all who after all watch a sunrise in life waiting to breath,..

Walk a mile in my shoes, taste the chest caving in... Looking for the fight in me, to set me free.

Thereafter

Where my mind floats to when I disconnect from the last verse that ever makes sense. I make my way to attest my own weakness, But it comes to no surprise that in my mind I suffice a perpetual state of longing a never ending dream, lucid, to which real life becomes inferior. I follow my own sorrow as it would ever reply with reason. I am no longer my known self, standing under the star-filled skies, wind caressing the skin of a tormented soul. Not by love he's come to know, not by the lust he's ever came upon, not by the deception of what the real world holds. Not by his own unwarranted assertion that he holds no card that would satisfy his yearning to once again live the life lived,. and to know the life led to the end,.

Present, where the mind floats endlessly, provoked by it's own creation, enticed by it's own destruction. Potentially in an ever-lasting state of bliss,. Tonight in my own skewed state, I welcome what has to come next,.