Strangest November Ever,.

Well, both this year's and last years have been strange,. In very different ways,.

But, this is the last Sunday of the Month,. Only Sunday I rested. Which is was,. oh so lovely,. I wonder what it would be to completely disconnect. As I could not stop thinking of picking up the mobile, or checking Social Networks,. but I limited myself to a bare minimum,. I cannot describe how tired I've felt,. Was it worth it? Yes,. most definitely it was,. I don't think anyone can save me from myself when it comes to changing my mind from think I have I have to do, what I need to do,. I don't know if I mentioned it before (signs of this daily hustle I've been on,.) but I got a shiny new promotion and a raise at work (still adding it for Timeline/Archive purposes ),. You can call yourself Senior now :),. Yes,. working from 9am to 3am without weekends was worth it,.

During the middle of the Month I made probably the biggest mistake of the year (Make note of this and come back and read next July),. So I grew my hair long this year. But I grew tired of seeing how much hair I lost. I mean, It messes psychologically with you, the fact you wake up there's hair on the bed, you take a bath and theirs dozens on our hand. You freaking hair everywhere, not staying on your freaking head ( I'm thinking this is also all the October / November stress I was on ). Anyways, I got tired of that and in a move of adulterated impulse, I shaved my head. Lo & behold, I immediately regretted my decision, which was pretty damn funny. But nothing was as worst as the backlash I got from my family, friends (both male and females), as to why I cut my hair, that the long hair was the much better route. So here I sit, growing my hair now. I was funny though,. But it's OK, just part of the process,. the seasons, need chaotic changes still, looks evolve,. So new tattoos once I hit milestones,. just putting it out there,.

I made a new friend 2 weekends ago (that insane weekend (I did make some room to socialize, I was tired)),. She asked me why I felt so adamantly of not being in a relationship? And that question still hits me right in the gut. My answer remains the same, I'm full of faults, so not being enough for someone affects directly my self-esteem,. I'm really good at certain things, but being in a relationship is not one of them,. I'm a patient person, but that gets mistaken as a weakness, just as my kindness (that is more of a general issue, than intimate),. I have no time for B-Class love. It's not that I don't believe in love. It's just that at this moment, I don't think believe love for me exists, in their eyes and words that slither from their mouths I see and hear other things exist (interest, sex, money, alcohol, partying) but not love.  Sadly, I might die alone,. So I walk this road with friends & family,. Until there are none or until the end of my time separates me from them,.

How'd you like that sack of pain I carry,? lol,. Yep, she did not like my answer,. But I rather push people away (she just called, it's 11.30pm and I did not pick up (please go)) than waste my time. It's the only thing I've borrowed and I can't replace. None of us can,.

But I'm working on myself,. like I say in every post,. haha,. December is upon us,. and changes are coming faster that I can plan them. Traveling is a major part of this coming year,. Moving to a special place is too,. away from it all,. So apart from work,. I plan to focus on music,. writing (hopefully) and last but not least The Project Site (which is still mocked up, but we have really high-end prospects interested (so I need to focus on working on that (above anything else (meaning I need to cut the bullshit because there is a lot of grinding ahead)))),. The things only I get excited about,. lol,.

Aaaaaanyways,. My Sunday is now over, I had my fun, I tried relaxing, saw a movie with my brother,. I played The Last of Us for a sweet amount of time (you have to love multiplayer names with audio chat) , had great food, heard great music,. Now I'm off to check my Google Spreadsheets (Tip 24720: Budget),.

Good Night, Moon,. Thank you for the company,.